I don’t where to start but my mother told me to always start where I am because the beginning might not be visible.
I want to tell you that I am angry. I am very angry, tired and teary. For two hours this morning after waking up and reading screenshots of a conversation between two men, influential men, senior political officials I walked around my room trying not to comment on social media. I was really trying to edit a lot of words going through my mind because we women are angry! We are done! I wanted to call up radio and tell them (the two men) “don’t hurt yourself”. Their rebuttals made me thank Jesus I was saved.
Let me start at the beginning of the day, it’s getting clearer again. In Botswana today, 6th May 2016, a story broke out through screen shots of a Counselor and an Assistant Minister discussing a grave matter. The Counselor was reporting to his MP, the ass. Min that he had messed up, impregnated a young girl “mongwe wa ba nneng o ba rekela diguarana ka December”. In their conversation, the allegations are mapped out, police are mentioned as friends, there’s attempt then success to bribe tabloid editor, there’s mention of paying off parents, there’s mention of another minor that was taken to abortion clinic in South Africa. The mentioned minor is a niece to the perpetrator. The Assistant Minster is really trying to help his friend maneuver these muddied waters, he mentioned maybe making the girl disappear, the response is just as disturbing. “If she disappears I will be the prime suspect”. Not how can you suggest a thing. No. Just that it won’t help.
The thing is I am angry because of these violations, but mostly I am angry that I have to hesitate and see how I can express my anger on such issues that we talk about daily, that gets us label as “bitter women”. That gets us told on a daily “not all men”. That gets us bundled into groups such as “woke twitter”. That makes us ridiculed for calling out a whole lot of bullshit.
Let me be clear. This #SebinaGate is NOT the only one. It is NOT the last one. It is also a meeting point for; years of patriarchy not being called out for its abuses, years of respectability done at the expense of young girls, years of let’s keep it in the family, years of shaming young girls for putting themselves in the proximity of predators, years of shaming young girls for being sexy ripe and ready, years of hunger taking precedence over rape and abuse, years of allowing rape culture to fester, years and years and years. Years of silence, years of labeling anybody speaking out, it’s been years.
We are here now. In the mist of angry feminist women. Angry because they are victimized more than those they speak against, angry because we seem to need permission to express ourselves, angry because we have cried and crying has not brought any change, angry because it seems to take less energy from a man to call out a woman on her abuse “allegation”, that call out a man on his abusive nature. Angry because it is so easy for them to call us WHORES, DIFEBE, BITCHES, MABELETE, DIKWENDE publicly than to call out a man of his abuse. Angry because other women also throw bricks at us in favor of being popular, being respectable, and not being angry, not being woke.
Maybe we’re wrong to be this angry, but it sure as hell not helping that abuse goes on, that people are silent at appalling things. We still make rape jokes. That in the 21st century we still police women’s skirts and their sexual behavior. It doesn’t help one little bit. AND I WILL CONTINUE TO BE.
This is not a fight for women being superior. It’s a plea for our humanity and that of girls to be recognized.